Tag Archives: Laurie Rostholder

songwriter

Until the Plan for the Jail is Undone

Until the Plan for the Jail is Undone
Tune: Home on the Range
By Laurie Rostholder

  • Chorus:

We don’t want a youth jail.
A place where our kids go to fail.
We want money spent
On plans with intent
To keep our kids learning and free.

Don’t give us a jail
Where our kids go to fail
And the judges have such a nice space.
Don’t claim you’re concerned
When our trust is not earned
And our faith in King County misplaced.

More children of color
End up in the jail.
Where is the justice in that?
We want no kids locked up
Where they just get fucked up.
And the contractors’ wallets get fat.

  • Chorus

The land’s full of waste.
With more than a trace
Of toxins to make our kids sick.
Another good reason why
The jail should not fly.
We won’t accept such a big risk.

Dow blocked our appeal.
His support is not real
To stop youth incarceration.
We want all to know
We’ll continue to show
Till the plan for the jail is undone.

Do Not Despair

Tune: Old McDonald Had a Farm
By: Laurie Rostholder

The Brits and Obama wiretapped me
That’s what 45 says.
A Muslim English conspiracy
Against the future prez.
With a tweet tweet here,
And a tweet tweet there,
Twittering bullshit everywhere.
The Brits and Obama wiretapped me,
That’s what 45 says.

Pruitt says it’s not CO2,
Making our planet warm.
And the EPA must go,
As it does corporate profits harm.
Islands shrinking here,
Glaciers melting there,
Climate chaos everywhere.
Pruitt says it’s not CO2,
Making our planet warm.

Breitbart Bannon wants the system to blow.
He’s tired of everyone.
A war with China would be a great show.
That’s his idea of fun.
Neo Nazis here.
White supremacists there.
Racist hate mongers everywhere.
Breitbart Bannon wants the system to blow.
He’s tired of everyone.

The Ryan Death Plan shrinks Medicaid,
And makes old people pay more.
The rich will get the greatest care,
While millions are shown the door.
With more death here.
Bankruptcies there.
Crappy health care everywhere.
The Ryan Death Plan shrinks medicaid,
And makes old people pay more.

Rick Perry is the chosen head,
Of a department he once called Oops.
To think he’s in charge of nuclear waste,
Should give us all the poops.
With no more progress on energy that lasts.
Innovative research a thing of the past.
Rick Perry is the chosen head ,
Of a department he once called Oops.

And here’s one that we shouldn’t  forget,
Our friend named Vladimir.
This happy guy seems far away,
But he’s really very near.
Creating distraction without working hard.
Drinking vodka to our discord.
And here’s one that we shouldn’t forget.
Our friend named Vladimir.

There’s so much more to sing about.
And commitments we must make.
To prevent our country going to hell.
And keep each other safe.
Undocumented, Queer, Black, Trans, and Brown,
Muslims, Jews, Women, all our old and young.
We stand up for what’s so unfair.
And we will not despair.

Resist!   Resist!  Resist!  Resist!

Gaggle to Impeach

  • tune: Side by Side
    by Laurie Rostholder

Oh, we’re a gaggle of Grannies
Urging you off of your fannies
We’re raising our voice—
We want a new choice:
IMPEACH THEM NOW!

They’ve lied about nuclear weapons
And Al Qaeda connections.
Now more of us see
This war’s about greed.
IMPEACH THEM NOW!

Their crimes are more outrageous
Than all of Clinton’s trysts.
A blue dress versus pages,
And lies and spin and twists.

So, join this gaggle of grannies.
Get up off of your fannies
We’re telling you now
We’re angry and how!
IMPEACH THEM NOW!
We really mean it! IMPEACH THEM NOW!
We mean precisely! IMPEACH THEM NOW!
We will say it very nicely! IMPEACH THEM NOW!
Read our lips: (mouth) IMPEACH THEM NOW!

Exploding Oil Trains

  • Laurie Rostholder
    tune: Home On The Range

Seattle’s our home
And we don’t want it blown
Up by trains carrying volatile oil.
The tanks are so old
They can eas’ly explode
We’ve seen how they kill and they maim.

  • Chorus:
    Keep those trains far from us
    Or better yet don’t let them muss
    Our climate up more
    Let’s show them the door
    Keep the oil in the ground evermore.

 How can we let greed
So eas’ly impede
Our right to a climate that’s clean
The future looks bleak
Unless we can keep
Fossil fuels down where they belong.

  • Chorus

This statement we make
Is strong not opaque
Clearly we fear for our lives
In the present and then
For our kids and their kin
Keep all that oil in the ground.

Gaggle Against Keystone Pipeline

  • by Laurie Rostholder

Oh, we’re a gaggle of grannies,
Urging you off of your fannies,
We’re raising our voice,
We want a new choice,
NO KEYSTONE PIPELINE!

While the decision is pending,
This is the message we’re sending,
We must draw the line,
While there’s still time,
NO KEYSTONE PIPELINE!

We’re telling you Obama,
That you must say no,
If you approve the pipeline,
Your words are just for show!

So join the gaggle of grannies,
Get up off of your fannies,
We’re telling you now,
We’re angry and how,
NO KEYSTONE PIPELINE!
We really mean it
NO KEYSTONE PIPELINE
We mean precisely
NO KEYSTONE PIPELINE
We will say it very nicely
NO KEYSTONE PIPELINE
Read our lips
no key stone pipeline (silent)

Gaggle: Hanford, Fix Those Leaks

  • by Laurie Rostholder

Oh, we’re a gaggle of grannies
Urging you off of your fannies
We’re raising our voice
We want a new choice
Fix those leaks

The nuclear toxins are leaking
For decades of this we’ve been speaking
The waste stays around
And spreads through the ground
Fix those leaks

Some want nuclear reactors
To provide our energy
It’s clean, safe, and efficient
What astounding hypocrisy

So join this gaggle of grannies
Get up off of your fannies
We’re telling you now
We’re angry and how
Fix those leaks
We really mean it
Fix those leaks
We mean precisely
Fix those leaks
We will say it very nicely
Fix those leaks
Read our lips
(silently) Fix those leaks

Gaggle One Billion Rising: Stop All Abuse

  • tune: Side by Side
    by Laurie Rostholder

Oh, we’re a gaggle of grannies
Urging you off of your fannies
This message we send
Gender violence must end
Stop All Abuse

We demand wherever we’re living
To be safe from rape, threats and hitting
We want out of harm’s way
Hoping now is passé (pass aye)
Stop All Abuse

Women the world over
Have really had enough
We’re rising up today
We’re brave, loving, and tough

So join this gaggle of grannies
Get up off of your fannies
In wars and at home
We’re no longer alone
Stop All Abuse
We really mean it
Stop All Abuse
We mean precisely
Stop all Abuse
We will say it very nicely
Enough is Enough
Read our lips
(Silently) Enough is Enough
And by the way
(Shout) Vagina !!!

Happy 60th Birthday Annette

  • by Laurie Rostholder

Not yet wearing hats
One person says: Happy Birthday Antoinette
We sing:

A you’re adorable
B you’re beatific
C you’re so calm and a cutie
D never daring
E such equanimity
And F as fashionable as can be……….

Someone playing Annette interrupts: I have no idea who you’re singing about, but there’s no way this can be about me….
One person says: Aren’t you Antoinette Campstein?
Annette: No way!!!!!
One person says: Oops!!! Wrong gig!!!
Everyone puts on hats while saying: So sorry!!! So Sorry!!!
Shuffle papers looking for correct song
One person says: Here it is
Turn sheet over

Happy Birthday Rosy

  • tune: Glory Glory Hallelujah
    by Laurie Rostholder
  • Chorus
    Our dear Rosy just turned sixty
    She can pass for barely fifty
    On top of that she’s really nifty
    Dear Rosy we love you

She’s been the Grannies’ song leader for many long years
Patient with us when our voices bring some folks to tears
Back in tune and to the right- no left- words she always steers
Dear Rosy we love you

She’s been teaching non- violence for many decades now
She wants to turn all swords into instruments that plow
Even if she thinks it she never would go pow
Dear Rosy we love you

Some years ago decided that she’d get really fit
To hike and ski and bike and walk and not on her butt sit
Her muscles and her shape show that from this she did not flit
Dear Rosy we love you

She uses all her gifts in many ways we realize
She’s sweet and tough and kind and smart, creative and she’s wise
If you think our Rosy’s just one way watch out for a surprise
Dear Rosy we love you

  • Chorus
    Our dear Rosy just turned sixty
    She can pass for barely fifty
    On top of that she’s nifty
    Dear Rosy we love you

Saints: Oil Trains

  • tune: When the Saints Come Marching In
    by Laurie Rostholder

When we stop (pause) all the fuel trains
When we stop all the fuel trains
How I want to be in that number
When we stop all the fuel trains

When fossil fuels stay in the ground

When energy is safe and clean

When no fuel trains are in our tunnel

When all divest of fossil fuels

When air is clean and oceans too

When we stop all the fuel trains

We’ll Keep You in Your Place

  • tune: Goodnight Ladies
    Laurie Rostholder with ideas from Monica Zucker

Listen to our manly cheers,
As we set the clock back years,
No more burning your brassieres,
You’ll give up your careers.

  • Chorus
    Maybe we just won’t have sex,
    Won’t have sex,
    Won’t have sex,
    Maybe we just won’t have sex,
    And then we’ll see what’s next!

We say no to birth control,
That’s our right and that’s our role,
It’s pregnancy that we extol,
And no does not mean no!

We have no need to abstain,
We’ll be back on top again (again),
All your progress down the drain,
Our joy we can’t contain.

  • Chorus

Your bodies now belong to men,
Bless the lord and say amen,
Everyone is born again,
We’ll keep you in your place.

  • Chorus

We Don’t Want Your Drones Anywhere

  • Tune: Over There, Over There
    By Laurie Rostholder

Over here, over there,
We don’t want your damn drones anywhere.
With the weapons they carry,
The people they bury,
We don’t want your drones anywhere.

From the air, comes despair,
With no way to protect or prepare.
Is this our style,
No due process or trial,
We’ve lost our sense of what is fair.

Causing hate, won’t abate,
There’s no way that we can compensate.
For the death and terror,
And constant fear,
Brought by our United States.

Over here, over there,
We don’t want your damn drones anywhere.
With the weapons they carry,
The people they bury,
(Speak) We don’t want your drones anywhere!

Imprisoned in Guantanamo

  • Tune: (Sixteen Tons)
    By Laurie Rostholder

I was picked up by the US a decade ago,
I’ll never get out, that’s the one thing I know,
Imprisoned and tortured for all these years,
Starving to death the least of my fears.

No charges have ever been brought against me,
Stuck in this hell hole cause I’m Yemeni,
Separated from comrades, can’t read the Koran,
Haven’t seen my attorney, no trial in the plan.

I’ll know I’ll never see my family,
No longer even dream about being free,
Hunger strike is my only choice,
The moment I got here, I lost my voice.

Being force fed, it’s incredible pain,
Treatment like this, it isn’t sane,
Does anyone care what’s happening to me,
Who is going to take responsibility,

I was picked up by the US a decade ago,
I’ll never get out, that’s the one thing I know,
Imprisoned and tortured for all these years,
Starving to death the least of my fears.

Oh, North Korea

  • tune: Bye Bye Black Bird
    (From the perspective of fish)
    By Laurie Rostholder

Are you aiming missiles at me,
Cause they’ll be landing in the sea..
Oh North Korea.
Kim Jung Un is not much fun,
Likes his fish // overdone_
Oh North Korea.

Leaders in the States respond with war drums,
They are not considering the outcomes.
If you want good fish to eat,
You had best turn down the heat
Or it’s farm fish, yum, yum. Yuck.

Do you want your fish uncooked,
Without that mushroom-clouded look?
Oh North Korea.
Sushi you will get no more
And nothing wild in the store.
Oh North Korea.

US military’s playing war games,
Provoking North Korea is an endgame.
Why won’t they consider me
Poor little fishy in the sea?
I’m not to blame!

Imprisoned in Guantanamo

  • Tune: You Load Sixteen Tons
    By Laurie Rostholder

I was picked up by the US a decade ago,
I’ll never get out that’s the one thing I know,
Imprisoned and tortured for all these years,
Starving to death the least of my fears.

No charges have ever been brought against me,
Stuck in this hell hole cause I’m Yemeni,
Separated from comrades, can’t read the Koran,
Haven’t seen my lawyer, no trial in the plan.

I’ll know I’ll never see my family,
No longer even dream about being free.
Hunger strike is my only choice,
The moment I got here, I lost my voice.

Being force fed, it’s incredible pain.
Treatment like this it isn’t sane.
Does anyone care what’s happening to me?
Who is going to take responsibility?

I was picked up by the US a decade ago,
I’ll never get out that’s the one thing I know
Imprisoned and tortured for all these years,
Starving to death the least of my fears.

It’s Time for an Income Tax

  • tune: Old MacDonald
    By Laurie Rostholder

Sales taxes are not fair,
It’s time for an income tax.
Sometimes it’s hard to afford underwear.
It’s time for an income tax.
With a share for us,
And enough for the state,
This is a problem that cannot wait.
Now is the time for an income tax.//
Let’s make the system fair.

We need more money for the state budget.
It’s time for an income tax.
There’s very little room for us to nudge it. //
It’s time for an income tax.
With services suffering,
And our schools in trouble,
Before the whole system turns to rubble,
Now is the time for an income tax.
Let’s make the system fair!

We Don’t Want Your Drones!

  • By Laurie Rostholder
  • tune: “Over There”

Over here, over there,
We don’t want your damn drones anywhere.
With the weapons they carry,
The people they bury,
We don’t want your drones anywhere.

From the air, comes despair,
With no way to protect or prepare.
Is this our new style,
No due process or trial,
We’ve lost our sense of what is fair.

Causing hate, won’t abate,
There’s no way that we can compensate.
For the death and terror,
And constant fear,
Caused by our United States.

Over here, over there,
We don’t want your damn drones anywhere.
With the weapons they carry,
The people they bury,
(Speak) We don’t want your drones anywhere!

Cycle of Abuse- 2

  • further adapted by Laurie Rostholder
  • tune: Darling Clementine

There’s a cycle, there’s a cycle, there’s a cycle of abuse,
Guns and beatings, harsh mistreatings,
There’s a cycle of abuse.
We must break it, break this cycle
For all women far and near,
So all sisters on the planet
Can live safely without fear.

We as Grannies, take the challenge,
To make sure the cycle ends.
We must work and act together
With our family and friends.
The time is right now, for all violence
In this world to fianlly cease,
So the children of this great earth
Can live out their lives in peace!

Gaggle Against Abuse

Stop All Abuse

  • by Laurie Rostholder
  • tune: Side by Side

Oh, we’re a gaggle of grannies
Urging you off of your fannies
This message we send
Gender violence must end
Stop All Abuse

We demand wherever we’re living
To be safe from rape, threats and hitting
To be out of harm’s way
Hope is passé
Stop All Abuse

Women the world over
Have really had enough
We’re rising up today
We’re brave, loving, and tough

So join this gaggle of grannies
Get up off of your fannies
In wars and at home
We’re no longer alone
Stop All Abuse
We really mean it
Stop All Abuse
We mean precisely
Stop all Abuse
We will say it very nicely
Enough is Enough
Read our lips
(Silently) Enough is Enough
And by the way
(Shout) Vagina !!!

We Must Act

  • by Laurie Rostholder
  • tune: Freres Jacque

Storms keep brewing
What are we doing
About climate change
About climate change
No time for disbelievers
Or nature misperceivers
We must act
We must act

While we’re analyzing
The temperatures are rising
Fires will increase
Food production cease
We watch the deserts growing
Starvation never slowing
We must act
We must act

Glaciers are shrinking
Islands are sinking
As oceans rise
Before our very eyes
No time for dumb debate
We hope it’s not too late
We must act
We must act
We must act
We must act

Angela’s Marrying Corporate Person

  • tune: The Bells Are Ringing
  • by Laurie Rostholder from Anne Thureson’s ideas

Our Angela fell in love
With a corporation,
See how she looks at him
With such adoration.

If Corp’s really a person,
They should easily marry,
We really don’t get it,
Why the judge might be wary.

She’ll be so proud of him
When he doesn’t pay taxes,
Throws his money at
All those “super paxes”.

Will she really ignore
All the money he’ll pore,
Into buying our Congress
For perks evermore.

Will she become like him
All arrogance and greed,
What will their kids look like
When they start to breed?
(speak) Dollar signs, dollar signs
But we love our Angela
So we hope she’s content,
Cause we know that Corp
Will never repent.

Yellow Submarine

  • by Laurie Rostholder, Tom Shea

On the oceans wild and free
Sail some sca-a-ry submarines
It’s the Tridents armed with nukes
Ghostly ri-i-sing from the sea.
We would like them all disarmed
Before anyone is harmed
We are tired of living in fear
With massive armaments so very near.

  • Chorus: We all pay for Trident submarines
    Trident submarines, Trident submarines
    We all pay for Trident submarines
    Trident submarines, Trident submarines

And the people on the base
Seem to think that it’s a safe place,
So en-vir-onmentally sound,
Tell us they are green and renowned.

  • Chorus: We all pay (etc.)

Now we have (now we have)
A bit of hope (a bit of hope)
That the Tri-i-dents (the Tridents
May disappear (may disappear).
Until they do (until they do)
We’ll carry on (we’ll carry on)
Objecting to-o-o (objecting to)
These massive bombs (these massive bombs)
The-e threat (the threat)
Mu-ust end (must end)
Of all these nuclear (these nuclear)
Wea-a-pons (weapons).
Put the Trident subs (Trident subs)
To re-e-est (to rest)
In peace (in peace ha ha!).

  • Second Chorus: We resist the Trident submarines
    Trident submarines, Trident submarines
    We resist the Trident submarines
    Trident submarines, Trident submarines

Scary Blues

  • by Carolyn Hale, Laurie Rostholder, Monica Zucker 
  • tune: Button Up Your Overcoat

I am seeing scary things.
No one does but me.
I can’t afford my meds.
Why aren’t they free?

Spent three days in hospital,
Gave me some bus fare.
Is there a place for me?
Can’t remember where.

Do I have food to eat?—no, no.
Place to sleep?—no, no.
Care and friends?—no, no.
Make a scene and end up in the pokey.

Fewer beds are there for me.
I need help, not jail.
We need to organize—
Must the system fail?

Raging Grannies Are Conspiring

  • by Laurie Rostholder
  • tune: I’ve Been Working on the Railroad

Raging Grannies are conspiring
To make their audience laugh.
Satire is so very frightening
It’s clearly a (speak) TERRORIST path.

Listen to their conversation.
They speak of peace not war.
Anti-Bush recriminations-
They always go too far.

Metal in their hips,
Metal in their knees,
They’re hiding weapons
No one can see.

We have found them out,
Know what they’re all about,
A peace and social justice
Con-spir-acy.

Someone’s singing for justice,
Someone’s singing for an end to war,
Someone’s singing for fairness,
Scaring us to the core…

We’re scared of:

Gaggles of grannies singing their song
Gaggles of grannies make us quake,
Gaggles of grannies must be watched
Our country is at stake.

Grannies with their hats
A bunch of old bats
Scaring us with
What they sing.

If they ever stay in tune
That will surely spell our doom
Spreading freedom and democracy.

We’re raging

Grannies singing for justice,
Grannies singing for an end to war,
Grannies singing for fairness
World Peace Forevermore!

Happy Birthday Shirley 2012

  • by Laurie Rostholder
  • tune: Daisy, Daisy

Shirley, Shirley, give us your answer true,
How can we grow o-old just like you?
We want energy just like you’ve got,
And we want to be hot.
We won’t take less.
You effervesce.
We wa-ant to be like you!

Maybe Shirley you-oo will tell us all,
How you manage to completely enthrall.
Your picture’s in the papers,
From so many of your capers.
You know everyone,
You phenomenon.
We wa-ant to be like you!

You do so many ki-inds of different things,
Belly dancing, acting, of course you sing.
You took the stage in New York,
And boldly invaded their bulwark.
We can’t wait to see,
That Nor-wegian movie,
We wa-ant to be like you!

You like Doc Martin and lots of serious books,
Economics and how the bankers are crooks.
Of course you don’t have strong opinions,
Just ask all of your minions.
How do you do it?
We all bene-fit.
And Shirley we do love you!

Happy Birthday!!!!

Groped by the TSA

  • by Laurie Rostholder

We were groped by the TSA, honey, honey,
We were groped by the TSA, dear dear,
We were groped by the TSA
First the front and then the rear
Do you feel more secure?

No dynamite in our underwear, honey honey,
No explosives in our shoes, dear dear,
Just some metal in our knees
Makes that buzzer go whee whee,
Do you feel more secure?

Touched our boobs, both of them, honey honey,
Groped our crotches up both legs, dear dear,
Doesn’t really feel that great
As good lovers they don’t rate
Do you feel more secure?

Got felt up by the TSA, honey honey,
Did not like it very much, dear dear,
Maybe they could improve their touch,
Take a class in Swedish massage.
Do you feel more secure?

Got Gas?

  • adaptation by Laurie Rostholder of song by Glen Anderson
  • The Marine Hymn

From Iraq and Venezuela
The Arabian and Caspian Seas,
We will pump out all the planet’s oil
Just to fuel our SUVs.
We can get ten miles per gallon
As we guzzle gasoline.
Since we’ll always need a lot more oil,
We’ll just call out the Marines.

We will pave the way for Texaco,
For Standard, ARCO, too,
And Exxon, Shell and AMOCO—
But the cost is paid by you.
And some foreigners will lose their land
And their lives when we invade,
But WE’LL get gas for our guzzling cars
And enemies that we’ve made.

From Honduras for United Fruit,
To anywhere for our banks,
We will conquer anyplace, anytime,
Until we run out of tanks.
So we cultivate our image
As we dominate the skies—
Not to protect rights and values,
But big business enterprise!

Gaggle Against Guns

  • The Raging Grannies Songbook, 1993, adapted by Laurie Rostholder
  • tune: Side by Side

Oh, we’re a gaggle of Grannies,
Urging you off of your fannies,
We’re raising our voice
We want a new choice—
NO MORE GUNS!

The NRA likes its shooting.
Its influence is polluting.
We need to portray
A much better way.
NO MORE GUNS!

We need to solve the problems
That underlie this mess.
Poverty, despair addictions,
Are issues to address!

Soooo, join this gaggle of Grannies.
Get up off of your fannies!
We’re telling you now,
We’re angry and how!
NO MORE GUNS!

We really mean it—NO MORE GUNS!
We mean precisely—NO MORE GUNS!
We will say it very nicely—NO MORE GUNS!
READ OUR LIPS! (mouth silently, No more guns!)

Gaggle Against Cuts

  • by Laurie Rostholder
  • tune: Side by Side

Oh, we’re a gaggle of Grannies,
Urging you off of your fannies,
We’re raising our voice
We want a new choice—
NO MORE CUTS!

With all the money they’re spending,
On tax giveaways unending
They’re hurting the poor
Of that we are sure—
NO MORE CUTS!

Stop cutting service programs-
It’s patently unfair.
Fund needed human services
SHOW THAT YOU REALLY CARE!

Soooo, join this gaggle of Grannies.
Get up off of your fannies!
We’re telling you now,
We’re angry and how!
NO MORE CUTS!

We really mean it—NO MORE CUTS!

We mean precisely—NO MORE CUTS!

We will say it very nicely—NO MORE CUTS!

READ OUR LIPS! (mouth silently, No more cuts!)