The Condom Song

  • Tune: When you Wore a Tulip

(First verse spoken)
I used to wear a diaphragm,
I used to take the pill.
I smeared myself with every kind
Of contraceptive gel.
But times have changed
Since then, old dear,
So listen up to me:
It’s your turn now for reproductive
Responsibility.

(Sing)
You’ll wear a condom,
A big rubber condom,
And I’ll wear a great big smile.
‘Cause it ain’t gonna hurt ya
To don that gutta percha,
Now that safe sex is in style
So take it out of your wallet,
Whatever you call it,
And stretch it for a mile.
And put on your condom,
Your big rubber condom,
And I’ll put on my sexiest smile.