Category Archives: Religious Issues


  • by Monica Zucker
  • tune: I’ve Got Rhythm

Got religion!
True religion!
We’ve got our man—
Who can ask for anything more!

Don’t love neighbors.
Don’t heal sick folks.
Don’t help poor folks—
Don’t ask for anything more!

  • Stem cell research!
    Free abortions!
    Same sex marriage!
    We abhor!

Wars don’t shock us.
Facts don’t block us.
We’ve got our man—
We’re through the door!
Who can ask for anything more?
Who can ask for anything more!

The Rapture

  • tune: I’ve Been Working on the Railroad

We’ve been waiting for the Rapture
To lift us up to heaven.
Today’s the day they promised lift-off
At twenty past eleven.
First, we’ll see the Angel Gabriel,
And then the chariots come.
But only for us true believers–
Not you other scum.

  • Chorus:
    We will be the first.
    The rest of you are cursed–
    The flames of hell are waiting there for you.
    There’ll be a mighty fire,
    And you’ll be on the pyre.
    When God fires up the barbecue.

We’ve read the Book of Revelation–
Every gory bit.
Lots of thunderclaps and smiting,
In the good old holy writ.
We confess we once were sinners,
But we’ve joined the righteous squad.
Sent our money to the preacher–
Now we’re right with God.

(tune: “Someone’s in the Kitchen wth Dinah”)
Who cares about global warming,
Poverty or wa-a-ar?
Who cares about the future–
We won’t be around any more!

Repeat Chorus

Heard It Through the Pope-vine

    • By Jo-Hanna Read with a little help from her friends
    • tune: “I Heard It Through the Grapevine”
    • lead singer(s) plus background singers (the latter in italics)

Ooh, you try to be true to your creed
Help others in their time of need.
You took a vow of poverty
Left your home and family.
The Church you pro-mised to obey
But we found out yesterday
Don’t you know that..


  • We heard it through the Pope-vine,
    You nuns have got to get in line.
    We heard it through the Pope-vine,
    You women must have lost your minds.
    Honey, honey, yeah.

Heard it through the Pope-vine
You nuns have got to get in line
Ooh, ooh, ooh

The Leadership Con-fer-ence
Of Women Re-li-gi-ous
Who would have ever made a guess
You’re radical feminists?
We need to pull you back from sin
And we’ve got just the men
To do it, ’cause


background chorus

You women have lost the path
Of patriarchy and God’s wrath
You put too much priority
On health and social equity
The pope knows what is best
To lay your sins to rest.
Don’t you know that


background chorus