• tune: Oh, What a Beautiful Morning
  Edmonton Grannies

Watch out for those blobs in the water.
Polluting in spite of the rules.
They’re not just a hazard to nature—
They’re threatening the family jewels.

When so many of us got breast cancer,
No one seemed in a rush with an answer.
But wouldn’t you know that they’re raring to go
Now that research has shown why the sperm count is low.

If your lover has trouble performing,
Remember we gave you a warning.
If you want to be fruitful and to multiply,
Fish him out of that lake and make sure he’s dry.